PERSONAL NARRATIVE:
REFLECTION 07/11/18
The personal narrative was definitely a new experience for me. It was full of many trial and errors but eventually I really enjoyed writing it. My first shitty draft was exactly that. Although my piece included some descriptive and personal experiences I wrote it in an essay format. I unknowingly did it this way and it became clearer to me once Mat talked to me and elaborated that in order for it to be a personal narrative I had to include my life experiences and tell the significance of my non-traditional text through this experience. In the next draft I noticed a dramatic change. I wrote more of how the experiences affected me and what it meant to me and my future. This draft focused on my insight, my thoughts, my goals, and my emotions. I strictly used first person pronouns and was as descriptive as possible. However, at the conference, I realized that I had focused too much on my thoughts and stream of consciousness that I was not telling a story. Mat pointed out that the experience of when I first checked my status of admissions in Florida State would be my narrative. My current narrative was half right and the rest of it was perfect for me to use for my third project. We brainstormed and came out with an outline that highlighted how I first did not check my status at work and how every co-worker was eagerly behind their phones looking if they had gotten accepted. My next event for the narrative would be to describe how I was waiting for my family to arrive and create mini profiles of them. From this I will then have “open head space” to describe my current community which is being a first generation college student. This would open space for me to dictate on my challenges and little bit of my stream of consciousness. I would then describe my experience of the moment in which I checked my status and was accepted. This outline is reflected in my revised version of my narrative and I found that through this genre, it was so simple to tell my story and create an emphasis on the purpose of my non-traditional text and its meaning to me. I also noticed that as I was telling my story, it allowed me to have a flowy piece that really held a magnifying glass of the events of my life but also to the emotions that came along with it. The descriptiveness of some parts like the description of my parents or my anxious feelings are a reflection of my hardships and my life as a first generation student. This story is only mine to tell and it is dictated in this genre. Now as I look back and reflect on it, I think that my narrative has come a long way and it now has more purpose to it as I used my personal experiences and told my message through this genre.
PERSONAL NARRATIVE:
1,000 WORD Final Revision 07/10/18
Emily Abreu
Instructor Mat Wenzel
ENC 2135-12
10 July 2018
Unconquered— a Personal Narrative
January 25th, 2018. I remember that day vividly. After getting out of school I rushed to a swarm of screaming kids, tagging after me to help them with their homework. Their young and squeaky voices pierced my ears as I walked around trying to find some peace and quiet to focus. It was acceptance day and of course my mind was everywhere except on tutoring the children at my job. The thought of checking my acceptance letter made me nauseous and so many emotions rushed through my body as I tried to regulate my breathing to calm my nerves. Excitement was written all over my co-worker’s faces as they handed me their phones during our breaks, showing me their acceptance into Florida State. I could not help but think that if I had checked my status right then and there, that I would have the devastating fate of being denied from one of the top schools on my list. I could not help but feel happy for my co-workers but I also could not stop thinking about all the what ifs. The pressure was too much and I just continued to indulge myself into my work and decided check my status after work where I would share what would either be the best or worst moment of my life surrounded by my family.
The car ride home was the longest one ever. Every light seemed to change at the speed of molasses and there could not be a more perfect day for traffic to form on the route back to my godparent’s house. I began to doubt myself and nit-picked everything in my application that could have been better. I wondered if I had failed my family and if I had failed on achieving my goals. I am the first to ever apply for college in my family and being a first generation student has been a challenge. I have ridden each step of my journey blindfolded. It is scary not knowing what lies beyond on the road. Taking every moment one step at a time, I only deal with what the headlights of my car illuminates right in front of me. The rest is yet to still be lit up and far away from being uncovered. The whole process of finally getting that “college experience” that my parents have so desperately talked about all my life, has been confusing and new to me. I recall applying to different colleges and I could not help but just dwell on a cloud of doubt and negativity. I doubted on receiving my acceptance from any university I applied for. I doubted by abilities and my intelligence. I doubted that I would ever get the chance of persevering from my past experiences and live out my goals.
This moment was special not only for me but for my whole family. I sat in the kitchen just taking in how real this moment was. As I was waiting for my family to arrive, I could not help but think of the crazy journey it has been to finally live out the day that I have always been looking forward to. Since I was young, my family has always sacrificed all they had, down to their last penny to make sure that I was put through school and had everything I needed to ensure a better future for myself. Until this day I believe that their act of unselfishness and generosity is a debt I can never pay back. I’ve seen what it is to live a life of distress chasing and weighing you down. I have heard fear slip through their mouths as they argued on how they were going to manage the bills. I have seen worry written all over their faces as stress clouded over them and I have felt them trying to swallow a mouthful of cotton. My mother has always made certain that I learned from their mistake— their mistake from not earning a college degree and their mistake of not valuing money’s worth. My mother’s words are forever imprinted in the back of my head and in that moment it was louder than ever. I realized that there is no looking back, I had to keep moving forward and take our struggle as a lesson and reminder of the steps I need to take to lead me into the direction of the realization of my goals… no matter what the outcome of this moment would be.
My parents slowly started walking to me and I focused on my mom’s dark eye circles and raised baby hairs. My dad hugged me with his rough hands that were full of calluses. They’ve always worked so hard for me and in that moment I felt some security as my parent’s voices played in my head saying one of the wisest words they have said to me— “I not only desire for you to be like me, but to be better than me.” I looked at my emotional godmother and my confident godfather. I turned to my sweet and gentle grandmother and my selfless grandfather. They were all my security blanket and I knew that whatever happened in the next few minutes, I would always have an amazing support system. All of them huddled around me. Anxiety and excitement filled the air as I clicked to check the status of my application.
The speakers of my laptop played the Florida State alma mater along with a welcoming “Congratulations” from the President of FSU. The disbelief and excitement that filled the room where I was sitting in when I first opened up my acceptance to Florida State University’s CARE program was unimaginable. There is no other day that I can remember that tops this one. The joy, relief, and eagerness we all felt made me feel almost invincible. All of it just felt so close. The time that had been talked about for almost all of my life was dictated on this beautiful; yet, simple piece of text. This acceptance letter was my golden ticket. My golden ticket to not only attend Florida State but also an opportunity to be a part of this community that was made up of people like me; people that have cried, fought, and experienced hardships like me.
As everyone celebrated and congratulated me, I was still wrapping my head around the fact that I was not only accepted into Florida State but I was also accepted into CARE. I simply could not believe it. However, I knew that there was one thing that was missing from this moment. I called my aunt and thanked her for her help throughout the application process. As I told her the news, my voice choked up and tears ran down my face. It was not until then that I knew that this was real— I had made it.
Word Count: 1159
PERSONAL NARRATIVE:
1,000 WORD RevisED DRAFT (CONFERENCE DRAFT) 07/09/18
I look at myself today and I see a reflection of my old self. My life story, my hardships, my pain, my tears—they are scars from the past that are still visible today but they are proof of what made me… me. The more I look into my past, the more I begin to understand myself and what it means to be a first generation student. There are so many of me. There are so many with my hardships, but yet there is only one me and only one story to tell. My mom has always told me that some of the best lessons are those learned from our past mistakes and that has to do a great deal of who we are today. I always remembered her words but I never understood them. Maybe I wasn’t mature enough to really grasp what she was saying but I, for some reason, kept her words close to me. Today more than ever I understand what she meant. Our past defines who we are today. Now I know that many people say that our past does not define us, that it is what we choose to be in life that truly reflects the person we are today. Although I agree that in life you are in control of yourself and not the events that happen around you, it is becauseof our experiences that we become the person we choose to be. If it weren’t for Oprah’s difficult childhood which was full of poverty, abuse, and pain; she would not resemble the strong and brave qualities that she shows today. She would not be the same person. I like to think that my experiences and my past, are all moments that made me who I am. Moments that molded my drive. Moments that molded my aspirations in life. Moments that turned me into the best possible version of myself—the strong, understanding, and ambitious woman that stands before me when I look in the mirror.
Throughout my life, I have realized that there are two kinds of people in this world. Ones who fall into old, poor patterns and ones that use their errors from their past for their wisdom in their future. I have had my fair share of setbacks and whether I have experienced them myself or just have seen the realization of it by watching the suffering of others, I have grown closer to be the person I have always aspired to become. I am a daughter of two immigrant parents. Poverty and debt has defined my past and it has always shadowed over us, even on our brightest days. This has challenged my life in countless ways but through all the hardship there has been a dramatic shift in my perspective of the work it takes to earn the luxury of having a car and having a home. Growing up with this obstacle I have discovered a newfound appreciation of the significance of money and gaining an education. Although at the time, I would always question why mylife was so hard and why it was that myfamily had to suffer when we were only trying to bring bigger and better opportunities for ourselves, I realized that none of the accomplishments that we have achieved would mean anything if it were not for our hardships. In fact, I do not believe that we would have accomplished anything because we would have not had the drive or motivation we gained from our poverty or experiences. Goals are not goals if it means that there are no obstacles to get there. I know that to get somewhere, I have to work for it and no matter how big it seems or how impossible it is, I am supposed to push myself out of my boundaries and work for what I so strongly envision. I would not have this same work ethic if I did not live through my experiences. My past defines me, the only difference that makes me stick out from everyone else is that I had my past make me, not break me.
Since I was young, my family has always sacrificed all they had, down to their last penny to make sure that I was put through school and had everything I needed to ensure a better future for myself. Until this day I believe that their act of unselfishness and generosity is a debt I can never pay back. I’ve seen what it is to live a life of distress chasing and weighing you down. I have heard fear slip through their mouths as they argued on how they were going to manage the bills. I have seen worry written all over their faces as stress clouded over them and I have felt them trying to swallow a mouthful of cotton. My mother has always made certain that I learned from their mistake— their mistake from not earning a college degree and their mistake of not valuing money’s worth. My mother’s words are imprinted in the back of my head and I carry it with me every day. Although it was not my error, I have taken our struggle as a lesson and reminder of the steps I need to take that will soon lead me into the direction of the realization of my goals. As my parents once wisely said, “I not only desire for you to be like me, but to be better than me.”
Being a first generation student has been a challenge. I have ridden each step of my journey blindfolded. I admit that it is scary not knowing what lies beyond on the road. I have taken every moment one step at a time, only dealing with what the headlights of my car illuminates right in front of me. The rest is yet to still be lit up and far away from being uncovered. The whole process of finally getting that “college experience” that my parents have so desperately talked about, has been confusing and new to me. I recall applying for different colleges and just dwelling on a cloud of doubt and negativity. I doubted on receiving my acceptance from any university I applied for. I doubted by abilities and my intelligence. I doubted that I would ever get the chance of persevering from my past and living out my goals. The disbelief and excitement that filled the room where I was sitting in when I first opened up my letter to my acceptance to Florida State University’s CARE program was unimaginable after feeling those emotions. There is no other day that I can remember that tops this one. The joy, relief, and eagerness I felt made me feel almost invincible. All of it just felt so close. The time that has been talked about for almost all of my life was dictated on this beautiful; yet, simple piece of paper. This acceptance letter was my golden ticket. My golden ticket to not only attend Florida State but also an opportunity to be a part of this community that was made up of people like me; people that have cried, fought, and experienced hardships like me.
My past defines who I am today. My obstacles caused a moment of pain but revealed to me a lifetime of wisdom. I would not have it any other way because the truth is, this challenge molded me into a better version of myself; a stronger one; a more ambitious one. Poverty has affected me but it would not define me. I take pride in earning money, not just getting it. I take pride in seeing that all my parent’s hard work is going to pay off. Being accepted into Florida State University’s CARE program has ensured the possibility of not only realizing my own ambitions but also realizing my parents dream; their aspirations of living out the “American Dream.” My journey from here on out is how I’m going to repay their debt and it’s how I’m going to keep myself driven to a life unchained from distress and regrets.
​
Word Count: 1349
PERSONAL NARRATIVE:
750 WORD SHitty First DRAFT 07/02/18
Winston Churchill once said, “The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you will see.” Some of the best lessons are those learned from our past mistakes and that has to do a great deal of who we are today. Throughout my life, I have realized that there are two kinds of people in this world. Ones who fall into old, poor patterns and ones that use their errors from their past for their wisdom in their future. I’ve had my fair share of setbacks and whether I’ve experienced them myself or just have seen the realization of it by watching the suffering of others, I have grown closer to be the person I have always aspired to become.
As a daughter of two immigrant parents, poverty and debt has defined my past and it has always shadowed over us, even on our brightest days. This has challenged my life in countless ways but through all the hardship there has been a dramatic shift in my perspective of the work it takes to earn the luxury of having a car and having a home. Growing up with this obstacle I have discovered a newfound appreciation of the significance of money and gaining an education.
Since I was young, my family has always sacrificed all they had, down to their last penny to make sure that I was put through school and had everything I needed to ensure a better future for myself. Until this day I believe that their act of unselfishness and generosity is a debt I can never pay back. I’ve seen what it is to live a life of distress chasing and weighing you down. I have heard fear slip through their mouths as they argued on how they were going to manage the bills. I have seen worry written all over their faces as stress clouded over them and I have felt them trying to swallow a mouthful of cotton. My mother has always made certain that I learned from their mistake— their mistake from not earning a college degree and their mistake of not valuing money’s worth. My mother’s words are imprinted in the back of my head and I carry it with me every day. Although it was not my error, I have taken our struggle as a lesson and reminder of the steps I need to take that will soon lead me into the direction of the realization of my goals. As my parents once wisely said, “I not only desire for you to be like me, but to be better than me.”
Being a first generation student has been a challenge. I have ridden each step of my journey blindfolded. I admit that it is scary not knowing what lies beyond on the road. I have taken every moment one step at a time, only dealing with what the headlights of my car illuminates right in front of me. The rest is yet to still be lit up and far away from being uncovered. The whole process of finally getting that “college experience” that my parents have so desperately talked about, has been confusing and new to me. I recall applying for different colleges and just dwelling on a cloud of doubt and negativity. I doubted on receiving my acceptance from any university I applied for. I doubted by abilities and my intelligence. I doubted that I would ever get the chance of persevering and living out my goals. The disbelief and excitement that filled the room where I was sitting in when I first opened up my letter to my acceptance to Florida State University’s CARE program was unimaginable after feeling those emotions. There is no other day that I can remember that tops this one. The joy, relief, and eagerness I felt made me feel almost invincible. All of it just felt so close. The time that has been talked about for almost all of my life was dictated on this beautiful; yet, simple piece of paper. This acceptance letter was my golden ticket. My golden ticket to not only attend Florida State but also an opportunity to be a part of this community that was made up of people like me; people that have cried, fought, and experienced hardships like me.
My past defines who I am today. My obstacles caused a moment of pain but revealed to me a lifetime of wisdom. I would not have it any other way because the truth is, this challenge molded me into a better version of myself; a stronger one; a more ambitious one. Poverty has affected me but it would not define me. I take pride in earning money, not just getting it. I take pride in seeing that all my parent’s hard work is going to pay off. Being accepted into Florida State University’s CARE program has ensured the possibility of not only realizing my own ambitions but also realizing my parents dream; their aspirations of living out the “American Dream.” My journey from here on out is how I’m going to repay their debt and it’s how I’m going to keep myself driven to a life unchained from distress and regrets.
Word Count: 864